In our society it is common for people to be disregarded based on their backgrounds. Specifically talking about trauma, society tends to label people who have endured ACE’s as ‘broken’, and we create the assumption that they will continue the cycle or lead an unproductive life. But the truth is, anyone can make it out of that cycle. It happens to people around you everyday, people you wouldn’t even guess have gone through trauma, I am one of those people.

Torn apart by endless abuse and the use of drugs, my family was exceptionally broken. With the lack of consistency, I grew up normalizing chaos and thinking abuse was the only way to show and receive love. For years, I truly struggled knowing who I really was, and at some point I believed there was nothing and no one who could help me. I felt judged by everyone around me -family, friends, and social media- even with the judgement I felt no one truly helped me, marking me as a lost cause. However, me being here today to tell my story and to help others proves everyone -including myself- wrong.

While trauma does help shape a person and leaves permanent marks, it does not define someone. Our brains are wired to survive and to recover, meaning no matter what you endure it does not erase the ability to heal, grow, and thrive. This is considered neuroplasticity, the brain’s ability to change and adapt by forming new connections and reorganizing itself throughout life. In layman’s terms, people with even the most excruciatingly traumatic pasts are still capable of moving past that and create a future completely different from their childhoods.

Recovery takes a lot of effort, while it is not easy it’s always possible. Through things like therapy, self-reflection, hope, and positive people, recovery will happen. While it’s very individualized, most people don’t realize the effects their childhood had on them until early to mid-adult years meaning many people don’t begin healing until adulthood. This realization can be a hard pill to swallow, but it’s also the beginning of a new life.

This new life is a possibility, I’ve personally lived through it and know many people who are also recovering. By doing the work, and putting in constant effort I’m a completely different person who instead of living negatively based on my past I choose to use it to my advantage. I am nowhere near perfect but everyday is a work in progress. I am proof that anyone can break cycles, and live productive lives.

So to anyone who might believe that people are permanently broken due to their experiences, I want you to take into consideration what you’ve done to become who you are today. What hardships did you need to overcome? Did you ever lose hope? For most, the answer is yes. These people with broken backgrounds have the same experiences as you just in different fonts. We are not broken, and we all have the opportunity to heal.