When my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer, I didn’t want to talk about it. I wanted to pretend it was something that came and left while my mom was still dealing with it. It’s not that I was ashamed, I just didn’t want to face the terrible fact that something none of us thinks will happen to us, happened to me.

My mom however, was very open about her diagnosis and seemed fearless among all the caos that came with it. When I asked her why she told me she didn’t want anyone to feel how she did when she received that call. She didn’t want other women to feel scared and unsure of what was to happen next, she didn’t want it to be something they couldn’t talk about.

1 in 8 women are diagnosed with breast cancer in their lifetime. Yet my mom felt completely alone until to spoke of her diagnosis. Our neighbors, friends, and even other family reached out about their experiences that we had no clue they had gone through. Many of them had no clue what stage or type of breast cancer they had, never mind having any clue what their treatment options were. It made me incredibly sad and a little mad to know how overlooked they felt about something that completely changes your life. My mom told me she wanted any women who had to go through that, to be able to ask her those question, and receive the reassurance she did from the people around us too.

Cancer doesn’t come with a handbook. While my mom physically did receive many books about breast cancer, none of them could give a step to step guide of what her experience would actually be like. Now no, my mother will not be able to provide a step to step guide for people either, but she can narrow down the scarier possibilities and better explain what comes next, since most of those book seem to pretty much jump to telling you to write your will (or it at least feels that way).

My mom is in her late 40’s, which is actually quite young for a diagnosis. This scared my mother to most, she was extremely unsure of what this would mean as she got older. My grandmas neighbor though gave us hope. She was diagnosed in her 20’s and underwent a double mastectomy, and is still cancer free over 30 years later. My mom was able to relax a little knowing this wasn’t a death certificate, only a small set back I knew she would overcome.

The goal I have with all of this, is to bring more awareness to the commonality and the fear that surrounds a pretty pink ribbon. My favorite quote that I think expresses this perfectly is “Pink isn’t pretty, but the ones who survive it are beautiful.” This was said by one of my mom’s best friends while she was fighting. I even have a shirt that says it! All this to say, cancer sucks, no one should have to face that alone.