As information starts to become more and more widely available to people across the world, chances are you’ll find something that piques your interest. Maybe a TV show you haven’t heard of before, or a topic you’d want to learn more about, like bugs. If you love it enough, it might even becomes something like a hyperfixation, or an obsession. While an obsession alone isn’t bad, it can even be healthy, how you handle it can be a different story. This is a huge part of Kieran and his character arc. For right now, I’ll focus on his depiction in the Indigo Disk DLC, since that’s when we see the aftermath the most.
Faded Self Confidence in light of Imperfection
Not being able to reach your goals can suck. You might start questioning your self worth, if you’re truly good enough. As Improving Lives Counseling Services, Inc. write in their article titled “A Closer Look at Obsessive Passion and Its Impact on Mental Well-being“, “Other negative effects include anxiety, stress, depression, self-doubt, loss of self-respect, and continuous failing.” They also state, “Avoiding lessons learned and continuing to fail can impair further attempts at success.” Kieran showcases a lot of self confidence issues after being beaten again by the main character in the champion match. He ignores the true reason he lost, saying he’ll just come back later to battle them again. He refuses to change his mindset on training, instead just thinking he has to train more, not realizing how truly unhealthy it was. That mentality ultimately doesn’t help him later, since the minute he sees Terapagos, he chucks a masterball at it, only seeing it as a tool to beat the main character and get stronger. Once again, he loses. He stands there, flabbergasted at why he just can’t best them, and that desperation to prove himself leads him to terastilize Terapagos without thinking it over. Then, after Terapagos goes haywire in the Zero Underdepths, he repeatedly starts to blame himself. When asked to help, he struggles to think of a reason of why he should. He doesn’t think he’s good enough to help, saying he’s too weak to do anything. Giving himself unrealistic goals and expectations just lead him to feeling even worse than himself than we he began, and that tunnel vision clouds his judgement to that fact that he doesn’t NEED to win. He doesn’t have to be perfect or better than them.
His Projection onto Others
Another negative thing that came out from Kieran’s drastic personality change in his pursuit for strength is his aggressiveness to anyone who he doesn’t see as worthy of being in the League Club. A pivotal scene that showcased his attitude is the one that actually had his debut in the Indigo Disk. As the main character watches from afar, we watch as he talks to a member of the club and their “lack” of dedication. When questioned how their training went, they tried to mention the fact that they were having issues at home. Before they can fully explain, Kieran cuts them off, saying that they aren’t dedicated enough. He threatens to write their resignation from the club for them, explaining he doesn’t want people in it if they don’t take it seriously. He walks off, leaving the member to chase after him, begging for another chance. From this cutscene, we can get a good idea of how he runs the club ever since the incident in the previous DLC. He thinks that if anyone doesn’t put the same unhealthy focus on training just for the prospect of strength that he has, then they aren’t taking battling seriously, and don’t deserve to be in the club. It might showcase of how he sees his old self in those people, and how he doesn’t like how he used to be. Back when he didn’t care about winning or losing. He lashes out at those people, thinking they’re weak. This is supported when he talks about the fact that he sees his old self as weak as a justification for how he is now. He’s trying to push people to the same unhealthy limits and expectations that he’s putting on himself.
Any Other Effects on Him?
Obviously, the two changes in him that I just talked about aren’t all that changed over the course of the 2 DLCs. But they’re definitely the most prominent, and some of the more important ones too. His “focus on strength” mentality had a multitude of negative effects on him, physically and mentally, as well as on his environment. But I’d like to go more in depth on those other issues in other blogs. Some other important facts I’d like to mention sometime in the future are things like what exactly caused his obsession in the first place, important points in his character development, and maybe some solutions to help people with unhealthy obsessions. If you want to, I’d like you to think about those topics. Having a healthy mind is just as important as physical health. Thanks for listening to me and my rambling, and hopefully you share the same interest in this character and his complex personality and growth.
The Golden Thread 
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