Now a more known term throughout our lives, especially in this era of the internet, sonder invites us to look into the invisible stories of those around us, bringing out both the beauty and weight of our shared human experiences. But, being such a diverse world, we see and feels things differently than others. Sonder get us to the door of understanding that every other person has a life as intricate as ours, but we, individually, can choose whether or not to open it, and choose how we comprehend it and apply it to our lives.

Solipsism describes the quality of being very self-centered or selfish. It might even be the exact opposite of sonder, providing nothing but the thought: “I am the only mind which exists.” Solipsism limits us, not only our minds and our abilities of seeing people as complex individuals, but our relationships with others. It seeks to turn them into parts of our own stories, relevant only in relation to our own needs and experiences.

The issue with understanding a word like sonder, relies not only in recognizing and understanding that others have lives as fruitful as our own, but allowing that awareness to change the way our souls engage with the world. However, simply thinking about it is one thing, but allowing it to influence our everyday behavior is much more difficult.

In a society powered by individualism, we are often encouraged to focus mainly on ourselves, to “put on your own oxygen mask before assisting others.” Because of this, our interactions can become shallow, and we may begin to see others mainly in terms of how they affect us. But, sonder should encourage us to slow down and be more intentional. To listen more carefully, judge less quickly, and to stay more curious instead of jumping to conclusions. It builds that kind of empathy that doesn’t just require feelings, but the active recognition that everyone is carrying invisible experiences that shape how they live their life. It will not always instantly create connection, but it can build that foundation for humility, a human way of seeing the world.