n one lifetime, a human can spend, on average, 600,000 minutes in the restroom. Over a year of your life will be spent on porcelain throne. But if there is one demographic that uses the bathroom more than any other, it would have to be girls ages 13-21. 

From makeup to gossip, from hair to the buddy system, teen girls have an unspoken and unique set of bathroom rituals. 

Picture a public restroom: neutral-colored stalls, white porcelain sinks lined up in rows, and the same brown paper towels in every last one. Now picture groups of teen girls coming in and out of stalls, 4-6 girls at a time. People lined up in front of the sinks, running fingers and brushes through their hair. Eyelashes being curled, gossip being spilt, and lip gloss being swiped. Mirror selfies being taken, TikToks being filmed; the atmosphere is lively and social. It really doesn’t feel like a bathroom. 

When with a group of friends, it is an unspoken commandment that no one goes to the bathroom alone; perhaps we are simply friends accompanying one another to the bathroom, perhaps we are worried there will be an axe wielding mainac in the women’s restroom. So naturally, if everyone takes at least one other person with them, the bathroom fills pretty quickly; the buddies need something to do, so they fix their hair or makeup while waiting. Girls offer their own cosmetics to one another; the public restroom feels more like a sisterhood than a place where someone could be having the worst stomach ache of their life five feet away. 

However, your home bathroom is a much more intimate place. There is a single sink, toilet, and shower. The space is designed for one person at a time. For me, the time I spend getting ready in my bathroom is sacred; it’s my time to prepare for the day ahead of me, or clear my thoughts after a difficult day. It would feel uncomfortable for another person to intrude on this time or to be fixing their makeup while showered. A private bathroom for a teenage girl is a place of great confidence and insecurity. Water runs down my back at 6:45 as I let myself breathe, letting the emotions of that day wash over me (maybe even cry if I have to). Or, sitting in the shower at 5:30 am allowing the hot water to run down my back while I try to hype myself up for a school day. 

When you’re getting ready for school at home, you can play loud music, jump around, obxnoiously lip sinc the words. You can also do this in a public bathroom; people may look at you like you’re insane, though. You can lay all your things out on the countertop; no one’s gonna bat an eye if you do your hair in just a bra; it is a space entirely designed by oneself. But as a result of that, it can also be a space of deep-rooted insecurity. There is no one there to tell you your makeup looks nice when you hate it, or that your hair is, in fact, not frumpy or frizzy. No one is there to tell you, “Girl, you look amazing,” when you try a new outfit. Your eyes can begin to play tricks, and you can see the pimple the size of a pinhead, not the beautiful hairstyle you spent the last 45 minutes doing. You can stand in the mirror and pick apart your entire being with no soul there to interrupt you.  At the same time, you can also hype yourself up in the mirror while lip-syncing, and no one is there to give a weird look. 

The public and private restrooms both invite confidence, in different ways. The privacy a home bathroom provides can be a source of comfort, just as much as it can be a place for insecurity to take hold. To me, the camaraderie that young women tend to have in certain public restrooms is extremely beneficial to their self- confidence. So, I believe that the social rules of public and private restrooms are vastly different, as public restrooms are a place to connect with others ( as peculiar as writing that feels), while private bathrooms are a place to sit with your own thoughts, positive or negative. Both allow you to inspire yourself to be the best version of you that day, whether that inspiration comes from your own heart or your closest friends.