Top 10 worst experiences of all time have got to be needing to use the bathroom and having to hold it. Maybe you’re in a lecture, and the teacher won’t excuse you; maybe you’re on the road, and there’s no gas station or fast food place to stop by. No matter the place, you still have to go. And usually, when you have to go bad enough, you stop caring whether the bathroom would score 1 or 5 stars on Yelp. 

Some bathrooms, however, are worse, much worse than others, and honestly seem like breeding grounds for nefarious activities. Now, all these decrepit excuses for a restroom share one key detail. They’re public restrooms. Anyone can use them, and anyone can basically do anything to them. 

But is there really that big a difference between public restrooms and private ones, like you find in your house? 

I have had my fair share of downright awful experiences in a school bathroom. The putrid polyphony of smells infiltrates your nose before you even set foot into the restroom. Entire mosaics are drawn on the walls with crayons, lipstick, and sometimes feces. 

Public restrooms are a breeding ground for diabolical activities and devious motives.

A private bathroom, usually one connected to your room, or one you share with a sibling, is WAY different. They’re often significantly nicer, with nice-smelling soaps, nicer sinks, and usually even a shower or bathtub too. You also don’t want to worry about hooligans busting down the stall door in your own bathroom (unless you have siblings; then it’s basically all-out war). 

Although public bathrooms are genuinely one of the most revolting and vile places ever conceived by humanity, they are ironically better bathrooms. You get in and get out FAST, because you don’t want to get caught in the wrong place at the wrong time. You waste zero time in a public bathroom, which makes them incredibly efficient. 

Private bathrooms, however, almost make you feel too comfortable. You end up waiting 20 minutes scrolling through Instagram or TikTok before you realize. But their cleanliness and serenity add to the experience, allowing you to not worry about what’s going on around you.

You, your mom, (or if you’re really bougie) a housekeeper, often clean your private bathroom. The floors are clean; there’s no mysterious liquids pooling around clogged drains, no sinks permanently turned on. They are infinitely better for personal hygiene.

You can FEEL the difference between a public bathroom and a private one.

While both Public and Private Restrooms exist as spaces to relieve oneself, Public Restrooms rely on their own disgustingness to encourage efficiency. In contrast, Private Restrooms use comfort to enforce peacefulness and cleanliness—ultimately revealing that although Public Restrooms are efficient, Private Restrooms are the way to go for the best experience.

Now, sometimes you don’t have the privilege of skipping down the hallway of your house and using a private bathroom. Sometimes you’re stuck in math class, and you have one option: go to what smells like a mix of Times Square and a burned-down Home Depot.  And for the people who have that unfortunate situation, I urge you to be fast.

When you’re at home, you have the benefit, the joy, the privilege of being able to use your own private bathroom. But for those holding it on a long car ride, and the closest bathroom is at the sketchiest gas station of all time. Maybe hold out a little longer; I promise it’s worth it.